What Does Maintenance Actually Cover?

One of the strangest occurrences that I often witness within family structures are this:

When a family is still intact, parents usually say,

“My child will have the best of the best.” (within their means of course)

But the moment parents are in dispute, something shifts.

Suddenly it becomes:

“Why do they need clothes from that shop?”, “Do they really need those shoes?”, “Can’t they stop some of these activities?” or "Is Wifi really necessary?"

Things that were never questioned inside the family suddenly become “luxuries” once parents are in conflict.

Yes , divorce and separation bring financial strain. Moving from one household to two is expensive and ever so often requires families to surrender some luxuries. That reality cannot be ignored. But what we must be careful of is allowing conflict between adults to lower the standard of care for children.

Because maintenance is not about what parents feel like paying.

It is about what children reasonably need.

Maintenance Covers More Than People Think

In practice, we often divide children’s expenses into two categories:

1. Shared Household Expenses

These are costs that form part of the home environment the child lives in. Even though they are not “bought for the child” directly, the child benefits from them every single day.

These include (to name only a few):

• Housing or bond/rent

• Electricity and water

• Groceries

• Wi-Fi and communication

• Domestic help (where applicable)

• Transport linked to daily life

• Insurance and maintenance

A child does not live in isolation. They live in a household. These costs form part of providing a stable home.

2. Direct Child Expenses

These are expenses that exist because the child exists. If the child were not there, these costs would not be there.

For example:

• School fees

• School uniforms and stationery

• Extramural activities

• Medical expenses

• Clothing

• Toiletries

• Childcare

• Entertainment and social activities

Yes, even entertainment. Children are not meant to survive; they are meant to develop socially, emotionally, and physically.

Lifestyle Matters

Maintenance is not a one-size-fits-all number. Courts consider:

• The family’s previous lifestyle

• The parents’ income and means

• The child’s needs

• The area they live in

• Their educational and medical needs

A child who was raised with certain opportunities is not expected to suddenly live on the bare minimum simply because their parents are no longer together.

The Reality Check

I often say this gently but honestly:

If someone believes they are fully covering a child’s needs by paying R1,000 or R1,500 a month, we need to pause and look at real-life costs.

When last did you walk into a shop and buy a week’s worth of food for less than that?

Children are expensive, not because they are a burden, but because raising a human being properly requires resources.

Maintenance is not a punishment.

It is not money for the other parent.

It is a shared responsibility to ensure a child continues to live with dignity, stability, and care, even after the family structure changes.

When parents shift the question from “Why should I pay?” to “What does my child need?”, the entire conversation changes.